Burned Out or Just Stuck? How to Know If You Need Rest, Play, or a Big Leap
I've learned, over and over, that life rarely fits neatly into a single season. Sometimes I'm craving deep, restorative rest. Other times, I need to chase a silly spark, drift a while, or do something so bold it scares me into growing.
These mini-phases of life aren't just mine. They shape how my husband and I live, raise our kids, and run our design business.
Maybe you're reading this because you took our Fun or Rest? quiz, or maybe you're here because you're burned out and wondering what to do next.
After 10 years of experimenting, trying, doing a lot of what looked like failing at the time, I've noticed patterns about myself. And who knows? Maybe what I've learned can show up in your life as a little reminder to take the nap, give yourself a permission slip to play, follow a wild idea, or move cross-country.
Here's a glimpse of what these four seasons look like for me - the real stories behind Rest, Playful Sparks, Gentle Flow, and Bold Action.
How to Know If You Need Rest, Play, Flow or a Bold Move
REST: How I Know When to Slow Down
Rest and reset have just one difference - the letter E. I like to think of that E as standing for Everytime. Because, no matter how many health hacks I try, good old-fashioned rest always works when I need a reset.
I'm not just talking about getting enough deep sleep (though trust me, I'm a loyal mouth-taper and magnesium glycinate evangelist). Over the past ten years, I've learned - usually the hard way - that if I don't drip moments of rest into my days, my body will slam the brakes for me.
Without fail, pushing too hard lands me with a tension headache in a dark room. Sometimes with nausea just to really drive the point home.
As a homeschool mom and very hands-on business owner, parenting or answering messages from the floor isn't exactly my vision of success. So I've gotten better at listening to my body before it has to scream at me.
Now, I can feel in my bones when it's okay to push through, and when I need ten... or thirty minutes to meditate, step outside, strum my ukulele or do absolutely nothing.
Rest, for me, isn't a big vacation or perfect eight hours of sleep. I like my travel with a side of adventure, and with kids, sleep can be unpredictable. So I rest where/when I can control it: a few deep breaths, a barefoot walk through the yard, a return to abandoned meditation or yoga, or a sticky note reminder that rest works, every time - and I don't have to earn it.
PLAYFUL SPARKS: Saying Yes to Tiny Adventures
When I'm truly in the moment - not stuck in my head, not worrying about the next thing - I notice life handing me tiny sparks all the time. Following them usually makes up the highlight of my day.
This winter, we were camping at Koreshan State Park in Florida. One afternoon, we walked the river trail from our campsite to see the preserved buildings left behind by a utopian community. On the way back, instead of retracing our steps, we chose a different, longer path.
And guess what?!
We ended up spotting so many gopher tortoises sunning themselves outside their burrows. Further down the trail, we found a wild orange tree, full of fruit (!!).
This small detour wasn't planned, but it was the highlight of our day. A perfect reminder that when I say yes to a little curiosity - a side trail, an idea, a tiny what-if - life rewards me with unexpected sweetness.
Playful sparks aren't grand plans.
They're breadcrumbs scattered everywhere. You just have to look up from your to-do list long enough to follow one.
GENTLE FLOW: Trusting Instead of Forcing
Gentle flow is my reminder that my life works better when I stop over-planning and start trusting.
When we left Kentucky this past winter, we didn't have a single reservation lined up - and no house to come back to if it didn't work out.
We'd sold our home, packed what we wanted to keep into storage at Eric's parents' house, and hit the road with a big, simple dream: camp our way through Florida's state park system.
Most people thought we were reckless. And maybe we were.
But for 184 days, we made it work by following a rhythm that didn't exist on paper: checking for last-minute cancellations, changing campsites when we had to, moving to new parks when luck or timing opened a spot.
Like when Eric pieced together last-minute reservations at Bahia Honda - 14 nights total at one of Florida's most beautiful parks. I've seen people online say they've tried for years to book a stay there.
It wasn't neat or predictable. Mostly the opposite. But for some reason, I never feared we'd be left without a place to go. It was exactly the lesson in trust that I needed. Gentle flow isn't drifting aimlessly; it's being flexible enough to trust that good things are coming, even if they're not written down in my planner.
If you feel stuck or burned out, sometimes flow - not forcing - is precisely what shifts everything.
BOLD ACTION: When It's Time to Leap
Bold action is the moment you stop waiting for “someday” and start moving your feet. Even when the plan feels wobbly.
We've done this more than once. The first big leap was back in Louisville, when we sold our house - with a two-year-old in tow - and drove cross country to Port Angeles, Washington. We'd never even visited before.
We just knew we wanted mountains, ocean, and the kind of fresh start that only comes with a change of scenery big enough to scare you a little.
And honestly? We were never going to feel ready for the work and emotion of leaving almost everything behind. But when we look back on it? Life changing.
A year later, as a family of four, we packed up again and moved all the way to Florida. Another rental, another new coast, more unknowns.
When that lease ended, instead of putting down roots, we made another leap: we had a Sprinter van converted for full-time living. With two young kids (four and one), we spent five months out West, living on the road, chasing national parks and wide-open spaces - right up until the 2020 shutdowns closed so many of our favorite stops.
Every time we've chosen bold action, it's rewritten who we are as a family. Not because we had it all figured out. But because we didn't.
Bold moves crack open doors you can't see from your comfort zone.
Sometimes brave looks like selling your house. Sometimes it's saying yes to the next idea that won't leave you alone. Either way, we've learned to trust the leap, and build the landing as we go.
Final Thoughts
I'll be the last to pretend I have it all figured out. Some days I need all four seasons in the same afternoon. But knowing which one is calling my name has made my life softer, sweeter, and less about pushing through - and more about paying attention.
Being present. My life is so much simpler and lighter when I remember to live here, even if I have to remind myself every three seconds.
If you feel stuck, burned out, or unsure what you need - I hope you give yourself some time to figure it out. A nap, a wild idea, a deep breath, or a leap into something unknown.
✨ Not sure which season you're in right now? Take my quick Fun or Rest? quiz to check in with yourself - you might be surprised what you need most today.
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And if you forget? Come back here. This space - and these stories - will always be here to remind you.
Rooting for you, ~ Ashley